Apathy=Self Preservation

Good frosty morning my friends! Wow what a difference a week makes!!!    Last week this time we were trying to find a way to keep cool without turning on the air conditioning. Today air conditioning is not necessary by any stretch of the imagination.

Yes I know it has been a while!  I made the mistake of letting life get in the way of what I really wanted to do.  So much has happened in the last months that I hardly know where to begin.

I will start with the furry support staff! Everyone is doing well and seem to appreciate these cold temps much more than I do.  I’m not sure if I have already introduced you all to the newest member of the herd, but we now have a rescued Weimaraner, named Merle. He is beautiful and much larger than I thought Weims to be.  He came to us underweight, very needy, and with a light and shadow obsessive, compulsive disorder. Not much is known about his previous life, but is obvious that he has suffered from neglect and some abandonment issues. I have seen improvement as he integrates into the pack here. His fit with the others is quite awkward, I’m guessing because of his size and exuberance. Having dealt mostly with herding breeds, I was not prepared for the need for constant companionship of a sporting breed. Thank goodness for the help and advice of friends who have the experience.  I have developed a bit of insight from them and the vet where Merle is concerned. We discovered that he is just at a year old, not approaching two as we were informed when he was brought here. So anyhow…we have a Weimaraner!

I went to Oregon in September for the opening of yet another Cracker Barrel.  This time it was in Medford, near the California border.  Let me just say, I love Oregon! It is a beautiful state. Little to no humidity and gorgeous landscapes make it one of my favorite places to visit! While there I had to opportunity to knock something off my bucket list that actually wasn’t on my list, but it was on my late husband, Jeff’s. I went to the highest point possible by vehicle to Mount Shasta.  It was the most peaceful, breathtaking place I have ever visited. The air was so clear and the lack of noise was incredibly relaxing. I didn’t want to leave! I kept thinking “on a clear day you can see forever.” And you could!!

mount shasta

I returned home from Oregon early upon news of my mom being in a coma. Her leukemia had morphed into lymphoma and it was bad.  As a result it was decided to administer an aggressive chemo regimen, which proved to be more than her system could take.  I have learned, without a doubt, that there is power in prayer.  At one point we were quite sure we would soon lose our mom, we all prayed for peace, we begged friends, family, and complete strangers to join in our prayers. I came home from Durham and within a few days received a message that she was awake.  Within a couple of weeks she was walking and talking, something none of us had thought possible just a few short weeks ago. This past week my mom came home! Yet another milestone no one expected to see at the beginning of October.  I want to thank everyone who supported us with prayers, calls, etc… Another moment of extreme joy has been reconnecting with the sister whom I have missed more than I was willing to admit. I will never forget one day when she was at my house…oh about 25 or 30 years ago, something struck us funny! To this day I cannot tell you what it was, but whatever it what was erupted into a giggling session that lasted a good ten minutes. When we finally were able to get our breath, my now ex-husband walked in the door and looked at us like we were mad! His perplexed look lead to an additional session that lasted another ten minutes. I have not laughed like that in a long time!

ROBIN

This past few months has been trying at best!  I am not going to go into detail on everything, except to say “UNCLE!”  I’m not going to admit that I am superstitious openly, but I did get rid of the $2 bill that was hanging in Justin’s room and the broken mirror that was behind the house. The loss of a friend who was basically an extended family member was extremely difficult to take.  My heart goes out to my “sissy” Teresa and Ray’s children and mom.  I want to also mention that my dear friend, Cindy became a first time grandmother! Little River was born with a slight defect that had to be repaired surgically shortly after his birth, but so far the little trooper is thriving! Congratulations to Cindy and her son’s family!! Yet another piece of good news, desperately needed, is in the photos at the top of this post, from DSC photography and Captain Dan’s Island Tours.  A medicine hat colt was born to the stallion, Wild Thing ,and the mare, Thetis on Assateague island, in Virginia. Medicine hats ponies are considered very good medicine in the Native American culture. These highly prized animals were thought to protect their riders and were sought after.  Often they were stolen by rival tribes that wanted to benefit from the powers the horses were thought to possess. This beautiful colt comes at a time when the herd is suffering from a swamp cancer that has claimed the lives of many and has affected several more. Maybe the birth of the little guy is a sign of better days for the herd.  Who knows? It won’t hurt to believe!

Did you ever feel so overwhelmed that you became calloused to everything around you? It feels almost like if you retreat into yourself things will slow down or somehow the effects will cause less damage.  You appear to be apathetic simply to protect yourself from the stress that would come from blowing a gasket. There is a fear that if you release the valve on your feelings or emotions that you will be deemed psycho, emotional, or even ridiculous. You are afraid to hurt someone else’s feelings so you sacrifice your own in order to prevent that from happening. This has been what’s happening in my world and in almost every aspect of it. Slowly, I have started to take back my life, my home, and my sanity. Though my plans for my future have been put on hold for a bit, I still intend to live out my dream!!

Well that is all for today. I promise not to be so remiss in my posting from here on out!  Love and scritches to your furry support staff! It’s the weekend, make sure you spend some time with them. You and they will be happier for it in the coming week.

Remember, I love you all most ardently! And remember even when it seems like things are crashing down around you and you can’t get a handle on things….

Play nice ya’ll….

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